Healing happens in each moment that we open ourselves and turn in the direction of its truth. We are whole, and our body has everything needed to sustain itself. It is the inconsistency of the mind, the way it likes to swing from branch to branch inquisitive like and playing with the ego that causes the pauses, the blocks to truth, and the barriers that would have us to believe that what appears to be is the ultimate of what is. It isn’t so. Yet the journey to wholeness often challenges us, brings us close to the edge where disbelief resides. How long does our faith sustain us? How long are we to be blind before the light reveals the way, restoring sight never before seen? Keep steady. Each step inside of each moment leads us ever-nigh to the vast space where the breath of restoration is exhaled and the hair on the back of our neck raises to greet the Magic. The wand is there atop the table within reach. We need only to lift our hand and motion forward in its direction and watch how it meets us there the way levitation rises heavenward, feet still planted. The soil remains ripe. It remains ready for the exploration of its bounty, its wholeness, its Yes to the prayer that we’ve prayed. Keep steady. Turn always your wayward thoughts back to the essence of the Divine. Feel the sun against your skin and know that it breathes on you all that is needed in order to be free. You are free. You are free.
It is there in the quiet that we find our way back. The path has always been and yet the mind has a way of distracting us, taking our attention away from the earth atop which we stand and points left and right at fields so vast that we forget and lose our footing. There is beauty all around, yet not all things beautiful are meant to be explored before the harvest. We wait. We watch. We see. It is there in the quiet space where all is empty that we feel most full, and that we remember: Our feet are planted in the soil of Magic, and every step of our walking leads us there where alignment reveals the readiness. It is then that we receive the bounty of life. Let not the mind distract us from the course with its seducing ways pointing at beautiful things hither and yon. Let us remove our coverings and feel the earth beneath our feet, how moist with promise, how warm with the light of the sun. Here is the place of our standing, and it is this place that opens the door to all places where we are to stand.
There in the infinite space of your breath do I lay my head, face eastward toward the sun. I am guided always by the light. It is the way. It is the star of my following when night falls and the quiet feels haunting. How serene your voice. How mysterious the way of alignment that I can only pause the thinking of my thoughts to listen. I hear always your voice and follow its sound through doors that are opened to me, and I experience the Magic every time I walk through. I dance in celebration of your bounty and abundance, and for the good that is laid before me on a table at which I sit beside you. There is neither haste nor angst. I sit with a heart open to the supper when it arrives. It is there in the wait of my sitting that I smell the ingredients of manifestation, my heart beating in grateful anticipation, my mouth watering for the feast. Every step walked through life has led me here, and I open wide my being that I feel the essence of you sweep through me like a wind whose only intention is to heal, to lift, and to carry. I am sustained, and it is my sustenance that brings me to my knees in prostration for the materialization of clear intention. Then it arrives, and I am awed by the fullness of your gift. I asked but for a plate and you have offered me a platter.
I dance with God, because it is the path of the Divine. There is no road traveled outside the realm of the light. So bright it is that I am awakened to the fullness of its moon in my sleep. I am led always beside waters still where the current takes me into vastness and releases me into life’s abundance. How open my heart and awakened my soul to the gift of this life and the way of the journey. I walk. My feet bare that I might feel the earth beneath me, experience the connection to the hand that has given life to all. I am matter, a form filled with spirit that runs the river of my being that I might go there to the deep end and test the waters. My faith sustains me, allows me to breathe underwater and walk atop its vibration. I lose myself in the Magic, awed by the way of its mystery and grateful to see.
May my eyes land always upon your grace.
May my ears hear the voice so clearly I cannot deny the way.
May my feet carry me through doors opened by your breath.
May my heart expand inside the abundant over flow.
May my prayer be a mantra in the meditation of my sitting that I draw ever nigh to you.
There is a space inside life’s vastness where the door is open. It leads us to the revelation that all things are made available to us in each moment that we choose. What we choose comes from the place of our consciousness at any point in time, and through the space and time where the point intersects with movement. Our choices are the manifestation of thought, where we are inside the rhythm of vibration—high or low—a pulse of intuition leading us ever so close to the start of beginnings anew. We birth from the seeds planted in the soil of either our cultivation or our neglect. This, too, is a choice along the path of the way. It is the path of gratitude that awakens the flower from its sleep and brings it into full bloom stretching across the landscape of life’s breath. The depth of our breathing is as vast or as shallow as the way of our gratitude. There exist no limitations in life. The expanse but a glimpse of the all from which we choose, and it is when we choose from a place of mindful knowing, led by the pulse of our intuition, that we multiply the birthing of seeds scattered with intention and watered by prayers.
Insight arrives like a care package in the mail. It awakens joy and inspires us to touch the tip of gratitude. It comes when we open ourselves to receive guidance and release the hold of our own will, and when we wake inside the practice of “Thank you,” and move forward from that place. Thank you has a way of creating openings, ones that allow us to travel from pain to healing, from poverty to prosperity, and from limitation to the unlimited bounty that is life itself. Insight is the blooming of the seeds we’ve planted and cultivated through time and space, and when it cracks the soil revealing itself for the first time atop the surface, we are guided in the direction of the highest vibration. May we turn toward the within and listen for the way. May we silence the noise long enough to allow the breath of insight to enter in: It is our deepest knowing.
I am sitting exactly where I am meant to sit in this lifetime right now. Cruisin’ by Smokey Robinson just came on. I’ve got a window lounge seat-view of the street, across which beautiful people dine, drink, laugh. It paused me. Still playing, taking me wherever I am to go on this road of my journey. The light is on. The wheels roll by, like skates in motion going nowhere, yet experiencing the All. I’ve been writing; been writing my way through my life changes, the journey of the way of me: chosen and not chosen. I must leave space for that which I do not know and cannot see. That is how we arrive at our full and complete self. Nothing is missing, yet easily we forget, skip beats, start poking and prodding at that which needs to be left alone. I’ve learned that. That’s why I take flight. That’s why I am okay with leaving it all behind, because I take it all with me. Everything that I need in order to move inside of my lifetime, I have within. This is a gift to us all: the quiet of within. The external abundance shows up, like magic. I live inside life’s magic. Layer after layer, peeled back like an onion to show the way of the journey. Life is not without grooves, no, and those grooves are not always carved smooth, but catch our skin with the pinch of splinter. It’s about how we participate in those grooves, how we see them, allow them the room and space to be, and how we stand ready with tweezers to pull the pain of the pinch back to the quiet.
Been thinking about my father lately. Been thinking about my mother, too. Been thinking about myself and how both of them run through my veins. Been thinking about keeping some. Been thinking about letting some go. Been thinking about how I’ve kept some and let some go. No one is perfect. Yet we can choose to take the perfection of each and shape a self, add to the mix of who we are outside of them, apart from them, and create someone wonderful. Been thinking about how I let it all go. Been thinking about my time sleeping on my best friend’s couch. Been thinking about how far we’ve come: from being a couple to being friends; going from there only being us to there being others. Been thinking about Mexico. Been thinking about school. Been thinking about all the things I’ve been thinking about and how I am living most fully inside these complex onion layers and how at times they burn my eyes and the tears fall. They’ve been caramelized though; no longer burning eyes or smelling to stink. Been thinking about love, too, moreso about connection and what that looks like at forty-two. It’s not the same as thirty, thirty-five even. I’m different. Connection doesn’t just connect, it builds and grows. Been thinking about how that’s not true for some and remaining in the knowing that it’s what’s true for me. Been thinking about what’s true and what’s false. Been thinking about being here in Long Beach and how like home it feels on this weekend visit. Been thinking about saying goodbye to everyone. I’m leaving. Been thinking about that. Been thinking about packing. Been thinking about buying a house in Mexico. Been thinking about traveling with God and feeling Its breath upon my skin. Been thinking about the Yes I’m saying to life and all of the good that comes with my receptivity. I’ve been thinking, and my thoughts guide me always in the direction of Oneness. Been thinking about that second glass of wine I just ordered and the meter that has ticked near time. Been thinking I should be on the road heading east to my going away party—my mother is throwing it after all. I’ll have a few more sips then dash before time ticks to its end. Sometimes we have to stop and give things some thought. Been thinking about that, too.